Last night, I had a dream that the guy I was in love with — a blank face, no named figure of my imagination — no longer wanted me. I tried my hardest as I woke up this morning to stay in the dream. It is a weird dream. Who would want to feel your heart breaking and gut wrenching pain in a dream? Wouldn’t that be a nightmare?
I think it was more that I missed that feeling of loving someone — maybe something to do with my new adventures on dating sites or the wish I was cuddling up to someone after my 22 hours of work, but it is more saddening to not have that feeling. I have, in the past, jumped from relationship to relationship, and as I found out being an Aquarius means that we tend to “care deeply fast.” So true. At the same time, I LOVE that feeling, I wouldn’t want it any other way. It over powers my distrusting disposition. So I dreamed. I dreamed of losing it because when you feel pain like losing someone you love, you feel the power of the love itself.
How do you know you are feeling good until you know what it feels like to feel the opposite? Not that I’m suggesting every day you feel happy cause sadness to make sure you are happy. I guess being alone in a new city comes with a feeling of loneliness and un-wanted-ness I figured I could correct by having fun and casually dating until who knows maybe I find the one or get a good friend out of it. However, I had to wake up from my dream to another day of work and of course, no messages, no one, and a broken heart craving for the feeling it had in the dream. Lets hope the broken heart stays in the dream, but the rest transcends.